Random quotes V.2.0

[Stryder221]

Grilled Mormons?
That's horrible. Do you know how many carbs are in a Mormon?

[Him]

"Why do you look angry?" "Reasons." "What reasons?" "Reasons." (This repeated for at least a dozen times.) "Seriously, why?" "Bruce Banner." "Wait, wha-?" "Bruce Banner."

It took them a while to figure what I meant by that.

[DarkTheImmortal]

I'm sorry, the combination of this quote and who said it made me laugh

Women. They are a complete mystery.

The person who said this: famous scientist Stephen Hawking

[DariusL]

Any 'oi' word sounds pretty unpleasant to me.

*Moira's moist groin ointment*

eugh

[Zylver]

I am or should say was playing Assassin Creed brotherhood .Until it got where a character in the game seem to be taking Jesus to a doctor.Now I am upset because of a lack of comprehending that Jesus is God who came in the flesh and died on the cross NOT TAKEN TO A DOCTOR !!!Jesus then arose again from death .The truth of Jesus is how God became man to died and arose again.

That Jesus did this to take on all sin and offer pardon by Him Jesus taking the punishment on himself.This game offends everything of what I know is Truth.Ubisoft have mocked this very truth.

I can be sure you won't have Islamic beliefs like having Muhammad marry a Jew or eat pork or destroy a Quran. Why because of fear of Islam.But you mock the truth of christian faith I will never buy a game from Ubisoft ...
I then emailed mary-beth.henson@ubisoft.com and told them my upset how they mocked the truth .The very God of all creation who became man.This Jesus is God the only hope for pardon from hell .
Update : We should all fight this.

[Winter-huntsman]

"We're you ever told not to get inside a box, with a mad man"
Doctor who
-Matt Smith-

[TinyVoices]

Any 'oi' word sounds pretty unpleasant to me.

Oi, what a bloody mongrel.

wolf dick is...

Let's not finish this sentence.

[tony1695]

NISHA THE LAWBRINGER DOES NOT EVEN GIVE A TENTH OF A [BLEEP]!

[DariusL]

Putting a case on your phone after its cracked is like putting a condom on your kid's head

/r/Showerthouhts strikes again!

[Bellhead]

Dude, you gotta get out of the weed room.

Given the fact that I have never smoked, ever, I'll let you guys try to figure out what I managed to say.

[TinyVoices]

/r/Showerthouhts strikes again!

Dead baby joke time?

What's small, light, flies through the air, and bounces after it falls 20 stories onto a concrete sidewalk?

Spoiler!

A tennis ball, you sick [censored].

[DrakeArron]

No, I don't know where that's from.

"I'm teasing my brother right now!" "With a strap-on?" *Laughter ensues*

Gaaaah, I laughed too hard. My mouth almost started bleeding again. I'm never going to add context to the things I quote.

Him, the amount of suggestive quotes from you talking with other people both makes me wonder what you talk about, and wish that I had freinds okay with stuff like that. Not cus I want to talk about pervy stuff, but because it means they could talk about practically anything without getting wacked out XD.

[DarkTheImmortal]

I'm re watching an episode of Red Vs. Blue
S6 E3
Caboose

Command? oh no they never have good news. did somebody die? Was it my Mom? Is she dead? Or my dad, did my dad die again

Emphasis on the again

[Him]

Him, the amount of suggestive quotes from you talking with other people both makes me wonder what you talk about...

It's never going to end, Drake. And you probably will never really know. Maybe that's for the best, eh?

Edit: Speaking of such things...

You call me demon when you're mad, and senpai when you're excited...

Man, what a night. My head is still a bit sore.

[Bellhead]

If brute force doesn't work, use more brute force.