Natani's Dream - Fanfic Contest Submission

[Him]

Since you called Natani male well over forty nine times (I didn't even finish counting and that was only the word 'he' in the context of Natani.) it is fairly obvious you meant to. However, you still referred to him as female at times. I could comment on the story's quality, but that's not really my thing. The difference in the pronouns is the only problem that bothers me enough to make me want to point out something.

I'll leave the judgment of the story up to the actual judges.

[midnightblink]

Since you called Natani male well over forty nine times (I didn't even finish counting and that was only the word 'he' in the context of Natani.) it is fairly obvious you meant to. However, you still referred to him as female at times. I could comment on the story's quality, but that's not really my thing. The difference in the pronouns is the only problem that bothers me enough to make me want to point out something.

I'll leave the judgment of the story up to the actual judges.

I think he referred to him as "him" because that is how he is referred to in the actual comic, although he usually does use the feminine pronoun in the forums (I personally use he and him, but that's personal preference)

[Him]

However that mixed me up and I started referring to him as a "her" in the few sentences after that, that didn't involve Trace's speaking

Ahhh, but if that is true then why was there one near the middle of the story long before he met Trace? It's alright though, no need to explain. I enjoy picking at logic.

[Snakeman1299]

Nice story, I liked it a lot. Glad it was only a dream

[asphere8]

It's a wall of text, so I'll read this as soon as I'm not supposed to be asleep

[asphere8]

It's a wall of text, so I'll read this as soon as I'm not supposed to be asleep

Sounds like a plan ;p

Aaaaaaand read!
Overall, I liked the story and found it fairly well-written. There were a couple nitpicky grammar things, but don't worry about those.
More specifically, the fight scene with the dragon was great. It created a little movie in my head. That's a mark of some good writing.

[asphere8]

Overall, I liked the story and found it fairly well-written. There were a couple nitpicky grammar things, but don't worry about those.
More specifically, the fight scene with the dragon was great. It created a little movie in my head. That's a mark of some good writing.

There were small grammar mistakes??? D:

Yeah, I threw it in just for that purpose. I didn't want it to be a boring drama read, so I figured "Eh, why not overblow it on the action for a paragraph or two?"

(Admittedly, I didn't even read back over this after writing it, so I hardly remember it. Second drafts are for losers, amirite TT~TT)

Aye, things like "embarked from the ship."
I hardly ever do a second draft of anything. Probably at least partly why I'm so terrible at writing assignments.

[cj3003]

(Admittedly, I didn't even read back over this after writing it, so I hardly remember it. Second drafts are for losers, amirite TT~TT)

I do this more times than I can count. I could go back and edit my things, but every time I do, I just feel like writing instead of editing XD

[cj3003]

[
I'm just honestly insecure about my abilities. I can hardly read a title I wrote without cringing, let alone a whole story

Hey, don't beat yourself up! I can't really judge your writing now and tell you my opinion on it seeing that I'm a judge, but it doesn't look bad at first glance. Like really, if you see the [censored] I made when I first started writing like 7 or eight months ago, it's just god-awful. So whatever you have wrote, it's like 15x better than my first thing. If you aren't convinced enough, just work hard at writing! I know you are busy with your Youtube channel, but if you dedicate at least an hour to writing each day, you'll see the improvements. Also, reading is an important thing to do too, you'll learn a lot of techniques from professional authors.

Ugh, even thinking about my first attempt at a book just makes me feel sick lol :/

[Snakeman1299]

(Admittedly, I didn't even read back over this after writing it, so I hardly remember it. Second drafts are for losers, amirite TT~TT)

I do this more times than I can count. I could go back and edit my things, but every time I do, I just feel like writing instead of editing XD

I do the same thing

[Snakeman1299]

I simultaneously love and hate the Maeve Easter egg.
/