The Bleak Streets of Twokinds: A Twokinds Forum Noir Story

[avengedplatypus]

I havent read this story in a while and I forgot how accurate it is.
I love the newbie board part. its so... right.
keep it up, I cant wait to read more.

[WindDragon]

Hehe nice story Avwolf, love where it's goingalso love how you add reality into the story, too bad I'm too new to have been in the story


...now...does it make me a newbie for the fact I've never ventured into the Story Board before?

[JediGuy]

I really do like this Av, a lot. Been keeping up on it since chapter 1 and I've gotta say, I'm loving every bit of it. Keep up the good work. I can't help but play this story out in my head black-and-white style, so that should be an indicator of how good of a job you're doing.


And now the shame(ful)less induldging! I'd reeeeaally like to make an appearance *Goes Godfather* If you find that offer appeasin'. */Godfather*



If you can, awesome, if you can't, I understand.

[Wynni]

Aaaaaviiiiiieeeee. Can we have an update soon?

Pleeeeeeease? Pretty pretty please?

[Schrodinger]

Aaaaaviiiiiieeeee. Can we have an update soon?

Pleeeeeeease? Pretty pretty please?

QFT!

[Garrett]

Aaaaaviiiiiieeeee. Can we have an update soon?

Pleeeeeeease? Pretty pretty please?

QFT!

And again. I just stumbled across this (God I'm slow) and love it so far. I can't wait to see Fastchapter's role...

[avwolf]

As usual, apologies for the slowness in the update. Life seems determined to keep me busy. In this case, getting ready to get a motorcycle consumed several weeks of free time utterly, and, as usual, the summer's been busy on its own. As promised, there's a fight scene in this chapter, though it's not a terribly long one. More actual cameos will appear in the next chapter. Anyway, on to the story:

-------------------------------------

Pain...In my line of work, you come to appreciate pain. It tells you that you're still alive. And, judging by the sensation of an armored locomotive loaded down with tap-dancing elephants and an all-bass-drum marching band thundering its way through my skull, I'm very alive. The pounding in my braincase starts to fade to a dull roar and my eyes very slowly begin to uncross. Snippets and snatches of conversation drift to my ears and manage to penetrate the rumbling fog wrapping my thoughts. Some of the voices seem familiar, but in this shape, I can hardly remember my own name, let alone place somebody's voice.

"You did what?!" The most familiar voice whispers fiercely, accusingly.

"I told you, he's tied up securely. We're going to deal with him." I don't recognize this one. "The boss said that he might start poking around, and he did. So we thought offing him would be our best bet."

"Yeah? I shouldn't have to remind you: you weren't hired to think. Avwolf's got a bigger nose than a bloodhound, flatter feet than a duck, and he's harder to get rid of than a cockroach." This joker's got a high opinion of me. Though since 'more attractive than roadkill' was left out, maybe it's not that high of an opinion. "If you don't kill him good, he'll follow your trail to the boss, and trust me when I say that the boss will personally see to it that you're dead before that happens."

"Tell the boss not to worry. We'll ventilate him as soon as we finish business here."

"You'd better."

The voices drift off, either too far away or too quiet for me to follow the rest of the conversation. Fortunately for me, they already told me a lot. Now, to get loose. I take stock of the situation: I look to be locked in what was originally intended to be a bedroom, but the stained mattress by the wall is in such bad shape that the rats won't even nest in it. Apart from it and me, the room's empty. I can't blame them for leaving the bed here. I wouldn't want to touch the damn thing either. The walls are covered in peeling wallpaper, in only slightly better condition than the mattress. The floor is distinctly sticky, and the whole room stinks like a combination of urine and cheap beer. I'd have figured it was the pub's restroom if they'd added the acrid stench of fryer grease and vomit. I shake my head, hoping to clear out some of the fog and blink back the stars still floating before my eyes. I flex my hands, testing the tightness of the ropes against my wrists. If you play the tease in a forum filled with furries, it doesn't take long before you learn a thing or two about being tied up. Or, more specifically, how to get untied. The chair I'm bound to is pretty solid, but whoever knotted the ropes was neither boyscout nor fetishist. There's just enough give to the hemp cord for me to slip my wrists free. I've probably scraped them up something fierce, and they'll smart in the morning, but at the moment, my head's too busy throbbing to pay them any attention. I'll count that as one of Providence's small favors. Unsurprisingly, Loquacious wasn't tied up with me. If I'm going to make it through this, I'll have to rely on the same things as the Inquisition: surprise and ruthless brutality.

I don't have long to wait before I hear a key in the lock and the door comes swinging open. Pretty soon I'm staring at a half circle of raw Newbs, their names all full of numbers and cocky grins spread across their mugs. The guy in the back on the left is moving a little slowly and awkwardly, like he's carrying some heavy iron that he's not used to. Something as heavy as my roscoe. I catch a glimpse of Loquacious' familiar grip tucked into his waistband, confirming my every suspicion. Now I've got somebody to aim for.

"You know, this is about the worst hotel I've ever stayed in. Maybe you lot should find a different business." I growl, holding my hands back like they're still bound. No point in giving away that I ain't tied down until I can put it to good effect.

"So, this is a hotel, yeah? Well, you're gonna be checking out." One of them spits out mockingly, thinking he's clever. Him and his friends step closer. Almost...Almost close enough... "Checking out right n--"

I move. I can be deceptively quick when I want to be. Comes from all that DDR, I suppose. I give the speaker a quick belt to the gob with my right, shutting him up good. I flick to the side as he starts to drop, stomping my boot heel down on the knee of his next nearest friend. It makes a crunchy pop, almost drowned out by his girly squeal as his knee cap goes south for the winter. My returning elbow catches him on the cheekbone and he's out for the count. "I'm like Tennessee Ernie Ford!" I snarl, reaching out to grasp the lapel of the mook with my pistol. I slam my forehead into his temple. Once. Twice. I'll regret that aggravation of my shovel injury later, when the adrenaline wears off, but he's seeing stars now. My hand snakes down to his belt, and my fingers wrap around Loquacious, feeling every bit like the handshake of an old friend, the embrace of a brother. I throw him to the ground and level Loquacious at the next Newb in line. Loquacious speaks for me. It's got the voice of Thor, of Zeus: deafening, short, eloquent...final. A click by my ear alerts me to the last of the Newb gang in the room. I had let my guard down. I was too focused on the moment. Bloodlust got the best of me. And now the cold, hard barrel of a forty-five is jamming into my ear, its very presence offering to give my brain some air conditioning if I make any sudden motions. I freeze, my eyes the only animate part of me, looking over toward the dropper with the gat. She's just outside the rim of my spectacles, and my unaugmented vision renders her blurry and indistinct. Even so, I could swear there's an oversized example of American cuisine floating up behind the skirt like a drunken balloon.

"You're a dead man, Avwolf. Dea--urk!" She cuts out in mid-sentence, her words choked off by steely arms wrapping around her ribs like a noose around a condemned man's neck. Maniacal laughter competes with a series of crunches and pops, as though Dr. Frankenstein is facing down a chiropractor during a walnut cracking festival. Kilroy lets her body slide to the floor. I replace Loquacious in its home by my heart and survey the tangled mass of bodies in our aftermath.

"Well...I suppose we probably should have left one of them in a condition inclining their gums to flap." I suck my teeth absentmindedly. "Nothing to be done about that now. Thanks for stepping in there; I was worried about getting a lead earplug there for a tick."

"I couldn't let you have all the fun, now could I?" Kilroy chuckled. "Learn anything from your little adventure here?"

"Other than a nice reminder of what the flat side of a shovel feels like applied directly to the forehead?" I wince at the memory. My face is starting to sting again, and the dull throbbing is back. Headbutting that torpedo apparently convinced the ache to recruit a batch of its friends too, and they seem to be setting up to stay a while. "A few things. Not enough. This is apparently big, with somebody on top pulling strings. I'll have to make the rounds, kick down a few doors..."

"Step directly into the [censored]." I give a short snort of laughter at Kilroy's comment. His prediction was more than likely going to come true. Then again, I'd apparently stepped in it already, considering I'd just been hit in the face and tied up.

"Damn right. Fortunately, I've got my boots on. But first things first." I carefully extract a cigarette from the pack in my jacket pocket and light it. "I want another look at our crime scene."

[Wynni]

Y'know, after meeting our usual greeters, I'm pretty sure newbies to the forum feel like they've been through that fight.

Thanks for the update, Avie. I enjoyed it thoroughly.

Unfortunately, it just leaves us wanting moar, moar, MOAR.

[JediGuy]

Awesome post, Av. Can't wait for more (and hopefully a more-than-likely-never-to-happen appearance )

Ribbing aside, I really enjoy this story. It brings a new perspective to some of the other stories on here. It's not about a a made up world, with made up people, but a fictionalized version of a real place with familiar names. I really, really enjoy reading this. Super thumbs up and encouragement to keep writing.

And, for the record, I can't help but play this out in my head in black and white

[Sithil]

Great job once again, avwolf. Although the fight-scene was indeed rather short, it was very enjoyable.

I am exremely curious regarding where you'll take us in the next part, and whom we will meet.

And, for the record, I can't help but play this out in my head in black and white

I do the same, it's simply so much more fitting.

[Windwaker]

"Behave, or I'll write you into my fanfic" is the generally accepted threat, but with Av, it's "Behave, or I WON'T write you into my fanfic."

[JediGuy]

"Behave, or I'll write you into my fanfic" is the generally accepted threat, but with Av, it's "Behave, or I WON'T write you into my fanfic."

LOL QFT. Also acceptable is "behave or I'll kill you in a violent manner."

[FoobyKamikaze]

>_< Catching updates late again.

--whoever knotted the ropes was neither boyscout nor fetishist.

--Newbs, their names all full of numbers--

Comes from all that DDR, I suppose.

Ahhhhhhh, it's because of the brief cracks like these that I enjoy reading this so much.
Keep it up!

[Schrodinger]

Aaaaaaaah~ Anticipation, anticipation! What will happen next I wonder.

[avwolf]

Aaaaaaaah~ Anticipation, anticipation! What will happen next I wonder.

Oh, you'll be excited, I'm sure.

I'm honestly surprised that I haven't had to explain the Tennessee Ernie Ford reference to more people. I figured it was pretty obscure. I actually had intended to use something else, as it was the first I'd thought of but, as I noted, I decided it was too obscure. However, I'd left it in as a placeholder and never got around to replacing it with something else.

I'd like to apologize for taking so long with the next chapter. I've been out of town on business trips a lot lately, and in the time I've been home, motivation and inspiration have, unfortunately, been in short supply.