Human & Lupusad - Of Men and Wolves [Mature Content]

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Jonesy
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Re: Human & Lupusad - Of Men and Wolves (Current Chapter: 21) [Mature Content]

#226 Post by Jonesy »

Warrl wrote:
Jonesy wrote:
AndreRhineDavis wrote:
Jonesy wrote:Now, I'm back at uni, so I'll not have as much time for the story as I have over the holidays
What uni do you go to Jonesy? I go to UWA :)
Queensland University of Technology. Not exactly close to you, is it?
According to our GPS I spend a fair amount of time on the highways of Western Australia, recently mostly WA-101 and WA-104. "Western Australia" is just north of Oregon.
Considering the only thing south of Western Australia is the ocean, I can only assume Oregon is underwater.

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Jonesy
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Re: Human & Lupusad - Of Men and Wolves (Current Chapter: 21) [Mature Content]

#227 Post by Jonesy »

You guys probably ought to know; university is kicking my [censored] this semester, and when I do get time to myself I'm not in a particularly elated mood. The next chapter is progressing, just much slower than I'd like. I'd say it's two-thirds done, and a third longer than usual.

So, sorry for the delay, but I'm still working on it.

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FrogSteaks
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Re: Human & Lupusad - Of Men and Wolves (Current Chapter: 21) [Mature Content]

#228 Post by FrogSteaks »

Don'y worry about it, man. Take your time, we'll be patient. I'm just glad you haven't fallen off the face of the earth or something. :)
You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. -Wayne Gretzky
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Re: Human & Lupusad - Of Men and Wolves (Current Chapter: 21) [Mature Content]

#229 Post by amenon »

Yeah, thanks for the update, and give university a good kicking right back :grin:
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Jonesy
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Re: Human & Lupusad - Of Men and Wolves (Current Chapter: 21) [Mature Content]

#230 Post by Jonesy »

Quick update; university is still busy, but I've managed to finish the next chapter. Proof-readers permitting, it'll be up in a week or two.

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AndreRhineDavis
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Re: Human & Lupusad - Of Men and Wolves (Current Chapter: 21) [Mature Content]

#231 Post by AndreRhineDavis »

yay! :)

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Jonesy
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Re: Human & Lupusad - Of Men and Wolves (Current Chapter: 21) [Mature Content]

#232 Post by Jonesy »

Sorry for the delay. Here we go.

As planned, the time has finally come to take the story down for now, in preparation for future publishing of the re-written version. It's a pretty bittersweet moment; I've got a lot of great memories about uploading chapters and eagerly anticipating people's responses. I'd like to thank you all for following the story all these years, and I'm glad you enjoyed it so much. I'll be keeping the thread itself up for now in order to keep you all updated on where H&L goes from here.​

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NinjaWithAStick
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Re: Human & Lupusad - Of Men and Wolves (Current Chapter: 22) [Mature Content]

#233 Post by NinjaWithAStick »

This was a good one. I'm definitely looking forward to the next chapter as the plot thickens.
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Warrl
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Re: Human & Lupusad - Of Men and Wolves (Current Chapter: 22) [Mature Content]

#234 Post by Warrl »

Nice... lots of intertwined threads...
Spoiler!
For a single donation; quite a lot
Semicolon should be comma
She’d heard the same story that had spurned Jakob into action
spurred
but at least no expense had been spared expense on seating
Once Turnbull had tracked down the Apiatan’s contract
Only once before had Daniel ever ventured into the dilapidated rookery once

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Jonesy
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Re: Human & Lupusad - Of Men and Wolves (Current Chapter: 22) [Mature Content]

#235 Post by Jonesy »

Warrl wrote:Nice... lots of intertwined threads...
Spoiler!
For a single donation; quite a lot
Semicolon should be comma
She’d heard the same story that had spurned Jakob into action
spurred
but at least no expense had been spared expense on seating
Once Turnbull had tracked down the Apiatan’s contract
Only once before had Daniel ever ventured into the dilapidated rookery once
Ah, thanks for pointing those out. Assignments have burned me out a bit.

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Re: Human & Lupusad - Of Men and Wolves (Current Chapter: 22) [Mature Content]

#236 Post by FrogSteaks »

Nearly three months of waiting has been well rewarded. :)

It looks to me like Daniel Riley's character definitely got fleshed out more in this chapter. Which is a good thing, 'cause up until this point, I've kind of only seen him as "Jakob's friend who also has good intentions regarding the Lupusad". I enjoyed seeing things from his perspective, especially his interaction with Apiatan when they first met. It definitely helps to show that Jakob's not alone in his endeavors to help the Lupusad.

That last scene with Yamka though almost did me in after Zyanya stormed out. It really says a lot about humanity's treatment of Lupusads when a mother has to force her child to work just to scrape by. Not to mention at a factory with... less than ideal working conditions. I just hope they find a suitable resolution for all parties.

Bellhead, where are you? New chapter's out, man.
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Re: Human & Lupusad - Of Men and Wolves (Current Chapter: 22) [Mature Content]

#237 Post by Bellhead »

FrogSteaks wrote:Bellhead, where are you? New chapter's out, man.
*Crawls out of shadow*
MmmMhhh.. Uhh? Huh? Oh, uhh... Hi. I'm here. I fear I am not in the right mindset to do a full comment of the chapter.
Sorry. I've been out for a while.

In all seriousness:

Yeah, I kinda wanted the guy to get decked in the face as well. He MORE than earned it with what he was doing. And Tholmes had better start watching his words. Even his lover is turning against him.

It's sad to see how large those slums really are, all told. But it is at least a little comforting to see that there are people, as in more than one, who want to change things, and don't think it impossible. To change the mind of a nation, one must first change the mind of the people. And that is just what Jakob, Daniel and Lady Ross intend to do. The journey of a thousand miles, as they say.

Also, "hot scoop"? Sorry, but Zoidberg is Obligatory.
Gearhead mechanic in the digital era, who will probably grow up is in the process of growing up to be a very grumpy old man.

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amenon
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Re: Human & Lupusad - Of Men and Wolves (Current Chapter: 22) [Mature Content]

#238 Post by amenon »

I'm three weeks late, and nobody is talking about Daniel and Halil yet? Priorities, people! (They're totally a thing.)

First triple-POV chapter, I think?

I wonder if the Kingsleys are going to end up fronting a market spot for the lupusads. (Nice to keep seeing some economics in play!)

Also nice to see someone call Zyanya out on her idealism. And Jakob, too; if you close a door, you better have a better one open or you're not doing anyone any favors.
Spoiler!
despite some reluctance from the latter proved reluctant.

marktetplace

it’s only fair he does to.
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Jonesy
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Re: Human & Lupusad - Of Men and Wolves (Current Chapter: 22) [Mature Content]

#239 Post by Jonesy »

amenon wrote:I'm three weeks late, and nobody is talking about Daniel and Halil yet? Priorities, people! (They're totally a thing.)
I was beginning to wonder if anybody noticed. :wink:
amenon wrote:
Spoiler!
despite some reluctance from the latter proved reluctant.

marktetplace

it’s only fair he does to.
Man, I really messed up quite a few parts on this one. Hopefully, once I'm done with university, I'll be able to focus on it a bit more.

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Re: Human & Lupusad - Of Men and Wolves (Current Chapter: 22) [Mature Content]

#240 Post by amenon »

Jonesy wrote:I was beginning to wonder if anybody noticed. :wink:
I was originally going to say something about shipping them, but... no. This isn't even a ship, they're totally a thing :P Do you think he'll be introduced earlier if you rewrite?

Oh, and, somewhat paradoxically, I like that Halil is pretty racist toward the lupusad. I don't have the story in active memory, so I can't remember if it's been an issue, but the good guy / bad guy divide shouldn't be too pat. And I'd think that sooner or later someone is going to have to figure out how to be pro-lupusad and pro-human at the same time.
Jonesy wrote:Man, I really messed up quite a few parts on this one. Hopefully, once I'm done with university, I'll be able to focus on it a bit more.
If you want to catch typos, read it out loud. It takes a good bit of time, but it works really well for most people, myself included. And you can find some other types of problems that way, too. There's something about doing it that forces the text to go all the way through language processing.


Oh, and thanks for the chapter, of course! 10k words, too. That's novelette-sized in itself, and I think you're nearing... about 400 pages if this were a paperback? This is going to be too big for traditional publishing :P
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